"This is the only happiness I get in life," 76 responds, answering everything and nothing at the same time, still refusing to look at Gabriel even if all he'll see is a indistinct swatch of colour against a hazy background.
76's jaw is so tight, as mechanical as it now is, that his molars hurt, and he can feel his blind eyes burn and sting.
God, he does not regret punching him. As much as he loves him and wants to help prevent whatever apparently happens he is already so tired of this bullshit.
"Well not anymore it's not." Nothing has gone to shit yet, not for Gabriel.
"I don't know what the hell has happened," not for lack of trying, he adds mentally. "But I'm here now. Let me help." He reaches out, grabbing his wrist just long enough to press the wedding ring (the one that was thrown at his feet, the one he's had in his pocket ever since 76 put a gun in his face) into the palm of 76's bare hand.
The heated metal of his own wedding ring finally makes the choked sob that had been building in the back of his throat release, a hoarse noise that 76 immediately tries to cut off but can't-- he can't hide how his shoulders begin to shake and his knees begin to tremble just holding up his own weight. The wall behind him once more holds the majority of his weight.
Then don't fucking shoot yourself are the words he manages to keep from coming out of his mouth, if just barely.
"I'm not going anywhere." As much as he's still frustrated that cracks his resolve. Seeing him break down like this tugs as his heart strings and as much as he wants to drive the point home he just doesn't have it in him to stay angry at him, not now. Not like this.
He's seen Jack through all sorts of danger and stress but he's never seen him break down like this. Whatever it is, whatever the fuck could have possibly gone down, he refuses to let it happen. There's no way he can go on and not do everything in his power to prevent everything from going to shit.
"We're married; we're a team." And honestly no matter what 76 says, no matter how hard he pushes him back and insists, Gabriel isn't budging.
"And if I fail you?" 76 asks, his voice barely beyond a whisper, the gravel making it barely recognizable as human. He coughs roughly, squeezing his eyes shut and tipping his head back against the wall, finally giving in and letting himself slide down the plaster until his ass hits the floor. "If I fail Overwatch?"
Jack is usually the one to give pep talks-- not just personally, but as the face of Overwatch. Gabriel has his own people to raise moral with, sure, but it's still a weird feeling to be the one consoling 76 like this. He's so unlike the Jack he knows.
"Would that be better than not trying?" He can't wrap his head around it, what could have gone so wrong and feel so inevitable that he's giving up before he's started. Or well, before Gabriel's started. And Gabriel can't help but wonder now what he's tried, what all has failed before.
Gabriel's worse at this than he thought.
So instead he settles himself on the ground too. Sat close enough that he could reach out and touch him if he wanted but he keeps his hands to himself, still a bit weary of him lashing out. He seems to have calmed down but he's no less unpredictable for him.
"Look, just... don't worry about it right now, alright?" He doubts it'll be that simple if just because nothing so far has been with 76, but still.
"Let's take it a step at a time, alright?" And sat so close and being something relatively close to calm lets him get a good look at him, see what a mess he really is. It tugs at his heart, hurts to imagine his husband turning into this. Stings a bit to know that he does. (No, that he could. Gabriel wont allow it.)
"And what step might that be?" 76 bites out angrily, snapping where he doesn't mean to before laughing at himself in a cruel, displeased way. Gabriel is Blackwatch, always has been, always will. 76 already knows the first step because he knows how Reaper works.
1. Torture 2. Questioning. 3. Repeat until desired effect is achieved.
When all those files had been leaked to the public, when 76 had watched them and read them all with his own eyes, he'd refused to believe it until he realized all his faith had been placed in the wrong man. Gabriel had changed without 76 even realizing it.
Somehow his words have less of a bite to them while he's still sat on the floor, barely recovered from his breakdown. Enough so that Gabriel can ignore them and not give in to the urge to react.
"How about a shower?" They always helped him feel better and clear his mind after a long, disgusting and tiring day.
Besides, it has to have been awhile since 76 has had one. It's obvious, just not one of the high priority concerns on Gabriel's radar.
76 instinctively growls at the idea of being stripped vulnerable in front of Gabriel, without his armour to protect him and hide him from the other's scrutiny. All of him wants to say no, wants to fight until he's free again, but he's so fucking tired that his body has all but given up on him, the tremors hidden under lays of leather and kevlar. "You have to be joking."
“Have you seen yourself?” Or smelled himself, even? In other words; Gabriel was absolutely not joking.
He stands up, holding a hand out to 76. “You can either let me lead you to the bathroom and get you a fresh set of clothes or we can do this the hard way.” Gabriel was sure he already knew his answer but he didn’t want it said he didn’t at least try. If he had to drag him kicking and screaming and throw him into the shower then so be it.
76 looks at Gabriel for a long time, the hand that's been offered to him, even with his blurry vision that leaves 76 with only an impression of what Gabriel looks like now. Now more than ever, 76 misses his visor not only so he could see clearly but also to hide his own expression, the pained and wounded curl to his lips and the damage that's been split across his face in jagged scars.
"I try not to look these days." 76 tells Reyes honestly, "Spent too long caring about all that shit in the past and don't have any time for it now."
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76's jaw is so tight, as mechanical as it now is, that his molars hurt, and he can feel his blind eyes burn and sting.
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"Well not anymore it's not." Nothing has gone to shit yet, not for Gabriel.
"I don't know what the hell has happened," not for lack of trying, he adds mentally. "But I'm here now. Let me help." He reaches out, grabbing his wrist just long enough to press the wedding ring (the one that was thrown at his feet, the one he's had in his pocket ever since 76 put a gun in his face) into the palm of 76's bare hand.
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"I can't lose you again."
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"I'm not going anywhere." As much as he's still frustrated that cracks his resolve. Seeing him break down like this tugs as his heart strings and as much as he wants to drive the point home he just doesn't have it in him to stay angry at him, not now. Not like this.
He's seen Jack through all sorts of danger and stress but he's never seen him break down like this. Whatever it is, whatever the fuck could have possibly gone down, he refuses to let it happen. There's no way he can go on and not do everything in his power to prevent everything from going to shit.
"We're married; we're a team." And honestly no matter what 76 says, no matter how hard he pushes him back and insists, Gabriel isn't budging.
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"Would that be better than not trying?" He can't wrap his head around it, what could have gone so wrong and feel so inevitable that he's giving up before he's started. Or well, before Gabriel's started. And Gabriel can't help but wonder now what he's tried, what all has failed before.
Gabriel's worse at this than he thought.
So instead he settles himself on the ground too. Sat close enough that he could reach out and touch him if he wanted but he keeps his hands to himself, still a bit weary of him lashing out. He seems to have calmed down but he's no less unpredictable for him.
"Look, just... don't worry about it right now, alright?" He doubts it'll be that simple if just because nothing so far has been with 76, but still.
"Let's take it a step at a time, alright?" And sat so close and being something relatively close to calm lets him get a good look at him, see what a mess he really is. It tugs at his heart, hurts to imagine his husband turning into this. Stings a bit to know that he does. (No, that he could. Gabriel wont allow it.)
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1. Torture
2. Questioning.
3. Repeat until desired effect is achieved.
When all those files had been leaked to the public, when 76 had watched them and read them all with his own eyes, he'd refused to believe it until he realized all his faith had been placed in the wrong man. Gabriel had changed without 76 even realizing it.
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"How about a shower?" They always helped him feel better and clear his mind after a long, disgusting and tiring day.
Besides, it has to have been awhile since 76 has had one. It's obvious, just not one of the high priority concerns on Gabriel's radar.
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He stands up, holding a hand out to 76. “You can either let me lead you to the bathroom and get you a fresh set of clothes or we can do this the hard way.” Gabriel was sure he already knew his answer but he didn’t want it said he didn’t at least try. If he had to drag him kicking and screaming and throw him into the shower then so be it.
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"I try not to look these days." 76 tells Reyes honestly, "Spent too long caring about all that shit in the past and don't have any time for it now."